1/07/2005 - VWgina paint job - How many people looking in their rearview mirror have gotten into accidents?

11/01/2003 - Man drops cell phone in train toilet, jams arm - Friday, October 31, 2003 Posted: 1:56 PM EST (1856 GMT)

NEW YORK (Reuters) -- Cell phone users have been known to complain about poor service, but one New York man's mobile literally went down the toilet.

The man was on a suburban train from Grand Central Station on Wednesday night when he went to the bathroom to make a phone call, dropped the phone into the toilet bowl and then his hand and arm became stuck trying to retrieve it, officials said.

Metro-North Railroad staff could not help the man, so they stopped the train and called police officers and firefighters to extricate him, a process that took 90 minutes using "jaws of life" rescue equipment.

"The toilets are made of aluminum so I imagine he was down on hands and knees with his shirt rolled up and hand and arm down inside, trying to flush out his cell phone," said Jim Cameron of the Connecticut Metro-North commuter council.

He said that because of the design of the train toilet, the mobile probably ended up in a chemical holding tank.

A spokesman for the railroad that serves the northern suburbs of New York and Connecticut identified the man as Edwin Gallard, 41, of New York, who suffered a minor injury to his arm as firefighters cut the toilet apart.

The track was closed and thousands of commuters were delayed during the evening rush hour.

The phone has not yet been recovered.

The next time your sex partner says, "Eew, I'm not gonna do that, it's weird," tell 'em that "weird" is culturally relevant. I mean, some folks might think it's bad form to have sex with an alpaca while others believe it's okay to screw a lamb -- as long you don't eat it afterward.

Consider the following cross-cultural beliefs, customs and practices culled from Sex Lovers Book of Lists. In Tasmania, a widow is required to wear her dead husband's penis around her neck for a period of time after his death.

In Wrokaw, Poland, a wife is allowed to beat or kill any other woman who is sleeping with her husband. However, the only weapon she may use for this is a club.

In Bhutan, a younger brother is not allowed to lose his virginity before his older brother. For many single guys in Peru, the alpaca seem to be quite the popular four-legged bedmate. So prevalent, apparently, is this sexual deviance, that an old law still bans the activity. Unmarried men are prohibited from even having a female alpaca live in their homes or apartments.

Married men in Iran can legally have homosexual sex with their wife's father, brother or son. In Uruguay, men cannot touch their wives during their menstrual periods. If convicted of this crime, a man can be fined and publicly whipped 200 times or more.

During their ceremonies, Australian Aborigines of the Walibri clan greet neighboring tribes by shaking penises, rather than shaking hands. In some parts of Colombia, when a couple has sex for the first time on their wedding night, the bride's mother watches.

Among the Marind-anim people of New Guinea, a bride has sex with all the men in her husband's clan in a kind of marriage ceremony called "Otiv Bombari." This ceremony also takes place after the birth of a child.

In the Tanzanian Zaramo tribe, two women watch and assess newlywed couples as they make love for the first time. They look for blood and see how easy the woman is to penetrate, to determine her virginity. The groom is judged by the amount and thickness of his semen.

A flasher who exposed himself to a woman in Croatia was bitten in the testicles by her dog.

The 36-year-old from Zagreb dropped his trousers after spotting a woman in her front garden.

But when he put his penis through a hole in the woman's garden fence her dog, named Medo, pounced on him, Croat news agency Hina reports.

The man was taken to hospital where doctors said he had sustained injuries to his testicles.

He was later arrested after admitting the cause of his injury

Purina announces Kibbles and Balls!

7/13/2003 - AP

Drug-crazed man makes meal of penis

A Malaysian man sliced off his own penis, then fried and ate it after taking hallucinatory pills that caused him to hear voices urging him to mutilate himself.

The 34-year-old man claimed he only realised what he had done when he saw blood oozing from his crotch, said a police spokesman in the town of Sitiawan, 190 miles north of Kuala Lumpur.

The man had taken hallucinatory pills before sleeping on Friday and awoke hearing voices telling him to chop off his genitals and devour it.

He is now in a stable condition in hospital, the national news agency Bernama reported.

The man had recently been released from a drug rehabilitation centre.

© Associated Press

Any Fava beans and Chianti with that?

7/11/2003 - Reuters

German job centre offers work in brothel

BERLIN (Reuters) - A Berlin job centre unwittingly offered an unemployed woman work in a brothel.
"The advert just said they were looking for someone to work in a massage parlour, we weren't to know it was a brothel," said a spokesman for the government-run agency in Berlin's central Mitte district on Thursday.

"It is a bit embarrassing though", he said.

Rage, rather than embarrassment was the response of the 25-year-old woman to the offer, who has been looking for work without success since April in Germany's cash-strapped capital.

"It really is a bit much if the job centre assumes that the best thing is for you to try your luck in a whorehouse," she told Tageszeitung newspaper.

"We'll spoil you with hot kisses, tender and loving massages or no-holds-barred sex," the brothel says of its employees on its website.

Where does my ex-wife apply?

7/8/2003 - Reuters

Woman, 75, upsets neighbours by cooking topless

A 75-year-old woman has upset her neighbours in southern China by cooking topless on her apartment balcony.

Neighbours complained to local authorities about the woman who cooks topless even in icy weather on the balcony of her home in Dongguan.

The widow appeared to be polite and intelligent in all respects other than her tendency to remove her top before cooking out of doors, the Southern Metropolis News said.

The neighbourhood committee talked to the woman but she told them it was "nobody's business" how she dressed at home.

Explaining why she cooked topless, the woman reportedly quoted an old Chinese saying which goes: "Women over the age of 40 are like men."

Is that just when they are upside down?